


maybe one day i'll believe you

by Ivyandtheholly



Series: peter parker has problems [1]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Bulimia, Demigirl MJ, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Everyone Is Gay, Hurt Peter Parker, Pansexual Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Tony Stark, bi ned leeds, clueless adults, demisexual ned leeds, friends turned councillors, pan mj, supportive friends, they/them pronouns, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-10 15:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12301998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivyandtheholly/pseuds/Ivyandtheholly
Summary: Peter succumbs to his insecurities, and his eating spirals out of his control. MJ and Ned notice, but Peter will only listen to Tony. Will Tony notice too late?





	1. deadly poetry//prologue

**Author's Note:**

> tw!! this is a vent fic pretty much! if you could be triggered, please don't read. I'm also writing this because EDNOS/OSFED needs to be talked about more! also, Peter could definitely bee a trans guy, and I'm incorporating his gender dysphoria into his eating disorder, similar to what I have experienced. please review!

Peter Parker has an increased metabolism, and aunt May has a minimum wage. 

Peter Parker has low self esteem, and a world famous mentor to impress.

Peter Parker is a trans guy, who hopes losing weight will help him pass.

Peter Parker is a murderer, who doesn’t deserve food.

Peter Parker is a superhero, constantly photographed, so its important he looks the part.

Peter Parker has a healing factor, but it isn’t working.

Peter Parker has a healing factor, but it can’t heal his brain.

Peter Parker always feels cold nowadays, even in the middle of summer.

Peter Parker has to ask for a new spidey suit, because the old one started slipping off him.

Peter Parker has lost control of things so many times, and his eating was one place where he regained that control.

Peter Parker is convinced that he's okay.

Peter Parker has an eating disorder.


	2. white lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter doesn't have a problem.... at least, that's what he tells himself.

With great power comes great responsibility, and Peter had a lot of responsibilities. Between school, homework, socializing, patrolling, and his internship, there weren’t enough hours in the day. Add on top sleeping and eating, and Peter was at his wits end.  
At first, he began skipping breakfast in order to sleep in. then, lunch time was dedicated to homework and seeing Ned and MJ, and any thoughts of eating were forgotten. It just so happened that criminals don’t eat dinner, so Peter started skipping nightly meals, too, to patrol the streets of Queens.  
He told himself that it wasn’t intentional, that he could stop it any time he wanted to.  
But he was lying to himself, and to the people that cared about him.

Peter figured that if he lost weight, he’d pass as a cis guy better; no one would question his super hero alias (he’d long lost hope of being accepted at school).  
Maybe Tony would start looking at him like he was proud again, instead of pining over Steve Rogers.  
Maybe he should emulate Captain America, stop looking like a scrawny kid and live up to the superhero title.  
Maybe the newspapers won’t release such horrible articles, start praising the sacrifices he made for the city.  
Maybe he didn’t deserve to eat.

He’d let Uncle Ben get killed, driven his parents away. Now he worried his Aunt, and let Tony down.  
He didn’t have a problem. There was nothing to fix, no illness to cure. He’s broken beyond repair. He doesn’t deserve help. That’s why he hides his eating habits. He tells Tony he can’t eat his food, talks to MJ and Ned a mile a minute to distract them from the fact that food never passes his lips. He takes the lunch Aunt May gives him and throws it away after he’s left the house. He stops messaging Happy, never gives him a reason to check up on him.  
But he’s not ashamed. He doesn’t have a problem. It’s only that he knows that they’ll try and get him to stop, and he can stop! He could stop any time he likes; but he doesn’t want to stop.

Perhaps if he keeps going like this, his body will feel pain like his mind does. Maybe he’ll stop taking up so much space.  
When there’s nothing left of him but skin and bones, people might notice how much he’s hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( poor peter... if anyone is suffering from any of this stuff, please talk to someone!!
> 
> Next chapter we'll see his disorder start to affect him physically, and his friends will notice. (I'm making Aunt May a fairly neglectful guardian in this story, but that's only for the purposes of this fic)


End file.
